FickleMinded

—-Last week I went to a nearby local bookstore in town and I found this little book with the title Momisms-What She Says & What She Really Means,it’s a book by Cathy Hamilton. And for today’s Thursday Thirteen, I will share thirteen on her list that really make me laugh because most of the time,I hear myself saying the same thing.

1. “Just wait until your father gets home!”. –Back in the days of stay-at-home-moms and one income families,this old chestnut was intended to strike fear in the heart of misbehaving children.  Anxiously waiting for Dad to walk in the door at 5:30 was usually more tortorous than the subsequent punishment.{Today,with more mothers bringing home the bacon,you’ll probably her many dad in frustration: “Just wait,until your mother gets home!!”.}
2. “I brought you into this world,I can take you out!”–Mothers make a lot of idle threats when they feel they’re losing control.  This ois one of more idle ones.{Hopefully.}
3. “Don’t ever let me cath you doing that again.”–Some would argue this classic momism sends a mixed message, which is: You can do it–I just don’t want to find out about it.{The underlying principle here is:What mom doesn’t know won’t hurt you.}
4. “Put that down-you don’t know where it’s been.”-Referring mainly to object found on the ground in public places–things like coins,candy,half-eaten sandwiches,and used chewing gum–this momism reflects every mom’s pathological fear of germs.
5. “Is that what you’re going to wear?”–used indiscriminately for sons,daughters, and husbands,this one is a not-so-subtle attempt to make family members rethink their wardrobe choice.{Meaning: I wouldn’t be caught dead in that outfit and neither do you.”}
6. “Don’t use that tone of voice with me,young lady(man)”.–This ism stems from every mom’s firm belief that she is the only in the household entitled to use an authoritative tone of voice.  the priviledge of tone is not afforded even to husbands,let alone children.  It is tone that gives mom her power.  It is exclusively hers.  to lose tone would be to lose everything.
7. “As long as you live under my roof, you’ll do as I say”.–Home is a mother’s only true domain.  And no matter how old the child may get, Mom gets to make the rules for all who dwell there.{This is why kids tend to leave home around age of eighteen}
8. “Don’t talk with your mouth full”.–Among the top five horrors in any mother’s mind is the fear that her child will be seating at someone else’s dinner table and attempt to express his opinion with a mouth full of lasagna.
9. “Don’t say shut-up!”–No mother worth her salt would permit her child to say “shut-up”.{Mom reserves that priviledge for herself,to use on Dad.}
10. “There’s no shame in being poor,but there is shame in being dirty.”–It’s a universal fact:Moms hate dirt.  And there’s nothing more terrifying than a child leaving home in a less than clean condition.  That’s why moms tends to overreact at the sight of stained shirts,grass-stained pants,or dirty finger nails.{Girls understand this. Boys never will.}
11. “NO means NO”.–The purpose of this momism is to distinguish between the word no & maybe.  Most kids know that when Mom says “myabe”,then the answer is probably “yes”,But when Mom says “no”, nine times out of ten she,in fact means “NO”!. {Unless of course,she change her mind later to “Maybe”.}
12. “This hurst me more than it hurts you.”–This age-old momism is used as a precursor to some form of punishment- a spanking,time-out,or earlier carfew.  Moms do not like to deprive their children of anything and most punishments are,in fact,more painful to the mom than they are to the child. {Unfortunately,most children don’t believe this until they have kids of their own.}
13. “I LOVE YOU”.–No explanation needed.

Happy Thursday Thirteen Everyone!!